In April 2009 I bought a house. I wasn’t so much in love with the house as with the surroundings. Commuting distance from the center of Stockholm but set on a beautiful peninsula. Venturing outside the house, a two minute stroll would bring you to a peaceful lake, complete with a petite sandy beach and jetty that stretched out, out into the water towards the sunny horizon. If your legs took you further, a wooded path would take you along the water’s edge, across a meadow and back into the woods.

For lazier moments a giant garden with fruit trees and all-day sun (when Ms Sunshine was out to play) provided a grassy bed for reading and sky gazing.

But this house needed some work. For two and half years it was in varying states of progress. Paint pots. Boxes of homeless possessions while room x or y was being worked on. Dust. Oh the dust! Sometimes it felt pointless trying to be tidy. It never felt clean or orderly no matter how much one excelled at being a domestic goddess.

But now she is finally complete. She is enjoying her new beauty and flirts tremendously well, posing magnificently for photos and batting her luscious eyelids at anyone who cares to glance her way. And I am finding it so much easier to be a domestic goddess. Oh the joy of having decent storage! Oh the joy of living in new, sexy surroundings! And I find it very motivating to keep things clean and tidy for I can easily see the results.

Living in a bit of a mess for 2.5 years is a somewhat familiar feeling as it is how I feel about my body. There have been stages in my life where I haven’t exercised regularly, where I have been eating the wrong kind of foods. Comfort eating. Eating out of boredom. Eating just to feel something! My rationale then was ‘ well I look and feel like crap anyway, another tub of ice-cream / bottle of wine / 3 of Nigella Lawson’s fatty buns won’t make any difference.’

But when I am eating well and working out I feel good. It is so much easier to keep eating well and exercising when I can easily see the benefits and I certainly don’t want to regress to my previous state of a lumpy sack. Sure in the beginning it takes some work to get into the routine (for that is all it is!) of knowing what to eat and planning time for exercise, but after a while it becomes just part of your life. This is what I eat. This is how I spend some of my time. I work out. I am a runner or I go to the gym. I feel good.

Please don’t think I am bragging or looking down at anyone who doesn’t have the pleasure of feeling good. What I am trying to say is that if something is in a good state it is easier to keep it that way! Going from lumpy sack to bouncy goddess may require a bit of a push, but once you get going, momentum grabs you by your hand and pulls you half way.

This is one of the reasons I love coaching. It doesn’t have to be a life-long experience, but many people benefit from getting help in the early stages to find out what they want to achieve and how they can do it, and most importantly being supported by someone who cares so damn much about you achieving it that they will prod, poke and hug you into getting it done!

I have recently been working with a delicious woman business owner here in Stockholm. I helped show her what healthy foods to eat to increase her energy, loose weight, and beat those pesky sugar cravings. Just after one week she was looking so good! After a few months of working together she now has the knowledge and motivation to keep things ticking along the track she wants to follow by herself. Maybe she will want some more coaching in the future when she decides to approach new challenges, who knows! But for now she is looking and feeling so much better than a few months ago!

This is what she says “The advice and help she (Miss Best) has given will be priceless to me for many years to come and will help me to continue growing in both my business and personal life.” Read her full testimonial here!

If you feel that you need some help, encouragement and guidance to getting your momentum going to grab your life and business by the hand and dance in the direction you want it to go (rather than the other way round) then please feel free to get in touch! You don’t even have to live in Stockholm to work with me! Email: hello@miss-best.com

Have a fantastic weekend!

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I have been a bit quiet recently. But just on the blogging and newsletter front. You see there are huge, huge changes going on in my life right now, so there have been other priorities in my head. I would really like to share these exciting experiences just because I am learning so so much from them and my developments are just a living proof that with the right knowledge and support we can emerge from something potentially crushing simply shining, empowered and hugely excited about life.

Before I start, I would like give myself a little high-five for being so publicly open about my personal life in this post. A few years ago, I was too shy to even register on a forum let alone leave a comment, or write a blog post or anything like that. I’ve not always been this brave, but boy, is life fun when you start pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone!

Basically my whole life has gone upside down, inside out, side-step, tango, waltz, fox-trot and jitterbug.

Since April I have done the following:

- amicably ended a very lovely 8.5 year relationship

- changed my ‘day job’ (I quit an unfulfilling job in finance and now work part-time in Business Development for an inspiring company that works with personal development and leadership training and I will soon go on to facilitate workshops and coach individuals)

- finished renovating my house in order to put it on the market

- thought long, long, long and hard about where I want to live in this world (I’ll keep you posted on my decision!)

- re-homed my beautiful dog (heart-break city!) as I wont be able to give her the attention and time she needs to thrive after my house is sold

- started doing fun but brave things such as Dj:ing

- expanded my social life in Sweden and UK by about a million % (which takes quite a bit of coordinating actually!)

And at the same time making exciting progress with my company:

- qualified as a Vegetarian and Vegan Nutrition Consultant

- launched my coaching services and seen some amazing results with a fabulous client!

- joined up with 2 lovely girls to plan a fab High Energy workshop in London in November 2011 (read all about it here)

When writing this it just feels like a list of things, but it when you are actually in it and living it, it really is incredibly intense and challenging. And I am sure that if you have ever done any of these things you will appreciate just how much they can impact your life…let alone when all happening at the same time in the space of a few months!

The most amazing thing I have experienced is that by applying all the things I learned over the years, I have not only managed to survive this incredibly turbulent time, but I feel that I am leaping from it full of love and life and zest for new exciting things.

Here is what has been the key to keeping me sane, happy and healthy:

1. Raw Food
I have been really motivated to keep as high-raw as possible simply because I immediately notice the positive effects. Cooked food does not give me the clear mind and the super high energy that I have needed for this period. Having a clear mind means that I am able to analyse my feelings much better and make sensible decisions. It has also prevented me from comfort eating and numbing any pain with things like refined sugar or heavy comfort food like toast! Working through these feelings is far more progressive and healing I find!

2. Avoiding stimulants
Staying clear of coffee, refined sugar and alcohol has also reduced the risk of feeling any extra anxiety and keeps my blood sugar stable. If I feel I need pepping up then I will either go for a run, or have a little nibble on some raw chocolate instead, which does not shock my body like coffee does. If I need the relaxing effects that alcohol can give, I do some yoga or exercise and make sure I take a few deep deep breaths. I have also been very kind to myself and when I do really feel I need time out, I will take it. Sometimes that means saying no to some people and commitments, but in the long run this ’selfish act’ is a great investment and actually makes me a nicer person to be around!

3. Exercise
This has really been a saviour. Exercise relieves stress tremendously and there is nothing like a good work out to release mood-elevating endorphins. I am also finding it really fun to set myself physical goals and challenges which offers a great respite from the emotional ones I have been experiencing!

I have also found that I have stayed away from comfort eating rubbish food or binging on booze (like I have done in previous years when facing a challenging time) because moderate exercise makes me feel a lot better. And since I know how good working-out makes me feel, it means that I don’t want to feel hungover or sluggish from comfort eating and therefore refrain from eating and drinking naughtiness.

4. Positive supportive and inspiring people
I am so in love with the people that I have in my life these days! I find I tend to stay away from people who deal with their unhappiness by trying to bring others down with negative remarks and energy. At a time when you need to be really brave, you need people who support you. Even if you don’t personally know people like this, reading inspiring books and blogs, or connecting with others on the internet or by attending inspiring events is a true gift!

5. Coaching
I draw on the wisdom I get from my coach and from my own knowledge of coaching. This is such a powerful tool for personal growth and bursting through challenging times. Becoming aware of why we think and act in certain ways is hugely empowering, and mastering the skills of breaking things down into small achievable steps is so useful . Oh, I could go on and on about this, but I wont. But it really has made the difference between crumbling into a heap of despair and rising out the ashes like a glorious, sassy phoenix!

So, dear friend, that is what my life has been the past few months. There are lots of exciting and challenging times ahead, but I am learning so much and am actually feeling pretty bloomin’ spectacular.

I really hope this post inspires you to see any challenging period you experience as an opportunity to grow and do brave things. It really is quite amazing!

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I have just finished re-reading ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ by Elizabeth Gilbert. God, I love that book. And I know the film is going to be gorgeous. I get excited shivers just watching the trailer.

It’s a beautiful sunny day today, and I want to turn my deceased window boxes into a herby heaven rather that sit at my desk for too long by explaining just what turns me on about this book. Before I go and get all soily, I just wanted to share with you this passage, which I adore. It’s about happiness. Since life is a complex inter-woven state, I feel I cannot separate happiness, contentment, (indeed emotions in general), success and fulfillment from the food we eat, and the way we treat our bodies and minds. Our bodies, minds, lives can either be as lifeless and somber as a deceased window box, or they can be as lush, fragrant, life-giving and tasty as a healthy herby heaven. I aim for the latter. It’s far more fun!

Enough about me, this is what Gilbert writes:

“I keep remembering one of my Guru’s teachings about happiness. She says that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you’re fortunate enough. But that’s not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel round the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don’t, you leak away your innate contentment. It’s easy enough to pray when you’re in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments.”

Of course, praying does not have to mean praying to a specific God in the traditional sense, if that does not suit your beliefs. And happiness is not a selfish thing to pursue. As Gilbert continues:

“ The search for contentment is, therefore, not merely a self-preserving and self-benefiting act, but also a generous gift to the world. Clearing out all your misery gets you out of the way. You cease being an obstacle, not only to yourself but to anyone else. Only then are you free to serve and enjoy other people.”

So, please, on this beautiful day, allow yourself some happiness. Eat well, and enjoy other people!

Thinking of you

xx

Extract taken from ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ by Elizabeth Gilbert © 2006

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If you read my last newsletter then you will know that we have been redecorating our living room. Hardly front page news, I know, but the reason why I am sharing this with you is twofold. One reason is that the gorgeous colour of our walls reminded me so much of a recipe that I wanted to share it with you (see below), and number two is that doing something so ‘mundane’ as redecorating has triggered such huge changes in other areas of my life.

Even before we came to look at the house in December 2008 I took in instant disliking to the living room. The walls were an orange-salmon colour, and the wooden floor and ceiling had an orange tint to them from age, so that the overall effect was, well, rather orange!

However, since we had more urgent projects to take care of when we bought the house, changing this livable, but hideous, room wasn’t a major priority. I realize now that it should have been. Even though we used the room (mostly in the evenings) neither of us actually enjoyed being there, and if Christoffer wasn’t in there, then I would prefer to sit at my desk in my studio than sit in a boring orange room!

So one weekend, a few weeks ago, we could stand it no more, and by the following weekend we had already made a start on ‘project de-orange’. Even though we didn’t finished the project in one day, merely making a start sparked something in our lives. On a practical level, the little furniture that was in the living room (we hadn’t really made ourselves at home there, so there wasn’t much) was relocated during the renovations. But their new homes suited them so well, that suddenly our other rooms had a whole new feeling and function, and our house is consequently feeling more of a home.

But on a more subtle level, we noticed several changes. Firstly, we both felt that we had finally honoured ourselves and that we felt that we ‘deserved’ a nice room. This recognition of our self-worth has trickled into other areas of lives, and I know for sure that my tolerance towards things that don’t serve me well has reduced considerably, and I am making changes to ensure that I treat myself as well as I should.

Secondly, within the following few days opportunities somehow presented themselves to allow me to tick off several big things that had been on my ‘to-do list’ for months. It was really weird. I didn’t have to initiate anything all I had to do was accept the opportunities that we presented to me. And I am not going to even start on how good it feels, for example, to get my accounts in order, or get the car finally fixed and how clearing that mental clutter is allowing new things to grow.

And all these small things are in turn triggering other things inside me, so I feel that there are more exciting changes ahead, both at home and within my business!

The living room is nearly finished, but is still looking like a bit of a building site, so I can’t share any photo’s with you today. I admit that it is a bit trying living around a half-decorated room, but I have been using my techniques for making effective changes that I shared in April’s newsletter to keep me focused, and stop me loosing my enthusiasm.

What I can share with you, however, is that two of our walls are now such a beautiful colour that I just wanted to grab a straw and stick it into the paint bucket and slurp it all up. I haven’t become a paint junkie or anything, it’s just that it looks just like a gorgeous blueberry smoothie. Such a sexy, rich purple colour!

Blueberries are such brilliant a source of anti-oxidants and are just so tasty. I am very lucky because when they are in season, I can pick them from our neighbouring woods. I often munch on them during my walks with Pixie the dog, and she loves them too!

So, dear Reader, here is a recipe for a super quick, yummy and nutritious smoothie for you. Just remember to drink it and not smear it on your walls!

Blueberry Smoothie
Serves 2

2 cups nut milk (you can find a recipe for this in March’s newsletter)
1.5 cups fresh or frozen blueberries
2 large bananas (you can use frozen ones for a super thick and creamy drink)
A pinch of vanilla powder, or a few drops of vanilla extract
Ice (if not using frozen fruit and berries)
Half an avocado (if not using frozen bananas and you want a richer smoothie)

Blend it all up and enjoy!

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As you may recall from a previous post, Christoffer and I had the pleasure of spending a day and night at a lovely spa the other weekend. It was a really lovely thing to do, and what I found interesting about the experience is that while the actual physical part of being at a spa is, of course, simply heaven, the simple act of being treated to something is equally as wonderful.

This is very exciting, because I don’t feel that the feeling of self-worth carries a price tag. The fact that the spa cost quite a bit of money wasn’t particularly relevant (lucky for us, our stay there was a gift from someone!). Of course, it was divine to use the luxurious facilities, but the fact that we had taken time off work, time away from our daily routines, in order to ‘treat’ ourselves was the most significant thing.

We may not have someone who will treat us to a stay at a spa. In fact, we may not always have someone who’s thoughtful enough to make us a cup of tea, to offer to make dinner, or give us a foot rub, so we need to be even more aware of gifting small things to ourselves.

It’s so easy for us to get swept up in the tidal-wave of life, whooshing along between work, household duties, family responsibilities, studies, growth…everything, that we can forget to just take time out and thank ourselves for all that we put into our existence.

For me, once I tasted this sense of the extra-ordinary, it left within me a glow of knowledge that for others to love and respect us, and value us even, we need to love, respect and value ourselves.

Yesterday, for probably the first time since I started work on my Miss Best projects last Autumn, I actually took a proper tea break. I made some tea, (and some raw treats, of course!), sat on the sofa (well away from my computer) and just took some time out. Apart from the minimal cost of the tea and chocolate treats, it didn’t cost me a penny. But damn! Did I feel like I had wrapped up an hour’s spa session and presented it to myself!

And I returned to my desk, relaxed, invigorated, productive, and feeling just a little silly that I don’t do this more regularly.

Inspired by this, I decided that it would be a lovely gift this morning to treat myself to some yoga before I did anything else. And so, when it was time for me to make my morning smoothie, and sit down at the computer I felt really rather special. Like it was my birthday! Or a ‘Me’ day! Every day should be a ‘Me’ day! I think we are cable of giving more to others when we nurture ourselves with rest, relaxation, Life-Loving food, exercise and self -appreciation.

As Tinu Su once wrote: “I must prioritize my day to do things that nurture my soul before anything else.”

And so, fueled by all these inexpensive, easy-to-do little gifts of self love, my lovely Christoffer and I have decided to spend this weekend in our home version of a luxurious spa.

OK, so we don’t have a swimming pool, hot tub, or private chef, but we are going to treat ourselves to a liquid feast of fresh juices, smoothies, shakes and raw soups to energise our bodies. We are – or at least I am – also going to enjoy doing more yoga, soaking my feet in my lovely foot bath that Christoffer’s sister gave me for Christmas, massaging our feet, walking in the forest with our dog.

I am also planning on trying out some natural, home made beauty treats such as hair masks, facial scrubs etc. This is where I would LOVE your input. If you have any that you can recommend, please post them below.

I am really excited about this weekend. I am very interested in what this experience will trigger, and to see if I can continue with my little gifts of self-love.

l will let you know how this weekend of relaxing self-love goes in a future blog post. In the meantime, have a fantastic weekend, full of little treats. And do let me know your favorite home-made natural body treatments, below!

Oh, and I would love to take this opportunity to let you know about a yummy, introduction to raw food class that I am holding near Stockholm on 24th April. Perhaps this is a prefect opportunity to give yourself a gift of self-love? Please visit this page to find out more!

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My Love Christoffer has been engaged in a very cool personal experiment. Since August he has adopted one new routine per month to work towards improving his health, fitness and well-being.

The first one was to get up at 5am (!) in order to have time in the mornings for things he wants to do before leaving for work. So now he gets up, takes Pixie Dog for a nice walk in the forest, does some yoga and weight-bearing exercises, and works on his personal projects before heading off for the day. I am super proud of him. He is the first to admit that he has not previously been one for sticking at things. After the initial enthusiasm wears off the good habits get left at the wayside. But now he gets on with it, and as each month passes he has got in to a good routine, and each month adds something positive to his daily life.

His latest ‘good habit’ is doing push-ups. You can read about it here.

But I wonder how people react to such a blog post. Just like when someone Tweets or Facebooks that they are on a juice feast, running marathons, or succeeding in balancing productivity with relaxation. Is your first reaction ‘Yeah, nice for you, no need to brag about it. You want a medal or something’? Or do you think ‘ Wow!, good for them. Sounds like a great idea…I wonder how I would benefit from trying that.’ Maybe you feel a mixture of the both: an initial recoil, small feelings of jealousy perhaps. Then maybe you realise that hell, if they can do it so can you. And you go dig out your running shoes and look up that recipe for a yummy healthy smoothie.

I think it’s OK to feel a little negative at first, as long as you try to recognize why you want to put down their achievement. Are you perhaps making a comparison that if they are getting healthier, fitter, happier then it makes you less healthy, fit, happy? Does it remind you of a time when you tried to get in to a good habit but ‘failed’?

What would be most useful is if you can progress and be inspired by what they do. OK, so you may not be able to run a marathon straight away, but neither did they. Look at Christoffer’s chart in his blog post – he wasn’t too impressed by his initial results, but every day he gets better and better. And for the record, I can actually see the positive changes in his body. And even better is his sense of achievement and increasing well-being.

So please do try and take those small steps towards your goal, whatever it may be – you will get there! And along your journey you will doubtlessly inspire others too.

Now, where are those running shoes?

Image: said_w

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I invest a large proportion of my energy and resources into my health and well-being. I prioritize good quality, healthy, home made organic food over many things. I would rather forgo a few trips to the cinema/pub every month in favour of ensuring that what I eat makes me feel well, happy and healthy both physically and mentally.

Much of what I read helps my personal growth, and I try to exercise and stretch regularly to keep myself in reasonable shape, and to avoid stiffness and back pain which I can get from sitting at a desk all day. (Notice the ‘try to’…there honestly are days when I can’t be bothered and so my little body scrunches up in to a crippled chair shape until I am literally forced to un-scrunch my self again with a brisk walk and some yoga!)

I know that not everyone has these priorities in life, which I respect. But also know that many people have looked at my lifestyle choice and wonder why I bother. I mean I do spend a silly amount on fresh, health giving food, I go without many things for sake of the environment, and I seriously narrow my job prospects for the sake of not working for obviously ‘evil’ companies that harm my health, the health of others, the environmental or animals.

I think that some doubt the usefulness of investing in their physical and mental health for the future. One person justified their lack of investment in their health by saying ‘Life’s too short – I could get run over by a bus tomorrow’. Indeed that is true, and we must live with this in mind. Not to be depressing, but we need to remind ourselves that life is short and the years tick by so quickly that if we don’t live the life we want to live now, then it may be too late.

But I am not just investing in my future I am investing in my now. If I eat non-supportive food today and don’t exercise for weeks then I feel the negative effects immediately; not just physically, but also emotionally and mentally. It’s not just about giving myself the best chance to avoid illness later in life. It still may happen, but if my todays are good then my tomorrows are more likely to be good too. If I have a clear mind (which eating mostly raw food and plenty of greens does indeed give me) I will more likely make better life choices today. Today is my future.

The ironic thing is that when this person told me that life was too short – that he might get run over by a bus tomorrow, so there was no point in stopping smoking – he was working as a cleaner in the office where I worked. My instant thought was: if this guy thinks he may die tomorrow then why the hell is he emptying bins and not living his life to the max spending time with his kids or fulfilling that dream he had always had?

I fully appreciate the commitment and challenges it takes to shift one’s life from a place of bad health to good health, but if we discover that the benefits will be felt immediately then perhaps we would be more motivated to make these changes. After all, someone may live a healthy life and feel great on a daily basis and still get seriously sick at age 80. Someone may abuse their body and mind with bad food, cigarettes and lack of self respect and live till they are 100, but every day might pass with them feeling low in energy, unenthusiastic, unhappy and with a foggy mind. Thinking short term and looking forward to a shift in our well-being in the immediate future may seem more motivating than doing it to prevent an unimaginable, bad thing that may or may not ever happen.

Personally, I know that if I am looking after my physical and mental health it gives me more clarity, strength, creativity and passion to get on with the things I really want to do in life. It’s an investment that gives amazing returns. So even if I end up having to empty bins to earn a living, at least I can do it with a spring in my step and a smile on my face.

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Today I took a beautiful and inspiring walk in the sunshine. We have only lived on this wonderful peninsula for a few weeks, and so haven’t walked my usual route very many times, so today when I walked it going in the opposite direction I found myself a little unsure of which way to walk. There was no real danger of getting horribly lost, but the path isn’t always clear and I could have found myself in someone’s garden. It’s no big deal but it did inspire some thoughts.

I speak Swedish about 50% of the time, and so usually think in English, but on this occasion the Swedish expression “Jag känner inte igen mig” popped into my head. This literally means “I don’t recognise myself” but really means ”I don’t know where I am”.

It seemed such an apt thing to think about on that walk. The thought that when we change direction – even for a short while – we gain a new perspective on life and on ourselves. Like when we go on holiday and one can view ourselves from outside of the usual auto-pilot routine. Suddenly we can see with different eyes and think “Woah- what am I doing? This isn’t me” or “Wow, look at what I am doing, my life is better than I thought. I am impressed that I live a life that differs positively from my past!”.

Changing the direction of my path that day meant that the ups became downs and the down became ups. New beauty spots where found, and the walk became more challenging and interesting. And I fell in love again with my surroundings.

My life has changed pretty radically in the past few weeks – going from living in a cramped rental apartment with an annoying and fussy landlord and thin walls, all nestled under a flight path, to a large house with a garden and just the woodpeckers to break the silence. Also going from the Swedish winter to the spring means that I can shed a layer of clothes, feel the sun on my face, and work in our new garden. Suddenly I feel that I don’t recognise myself or know where I am. But it’s new and exciting and the path I have been longing for. Even though it can feel like a new pair of shoes that need to be worn in and made to feel like me.

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Do we sell our dreams short? I think I do. Not wanting to sound like like I am asking for sympathy, but I have been feeling a slight unease since moving in to our new house. I have been so completely blown away by the surrounding nature that I hadn’t felt like I could completely accept it as my new life so that I could settle in.

But I recently managed to put my finger on this feeling. I felt like I was actually having to become comfortable with my beautiful new home because it far exceeded my expectations. I think I had been imagining just an average house in the country not the amazing location we ended up with. In fact even the estate agent under-advertised the house, highlighting the work that needs doing rather than the potential and the incredible surroundings. So while we could see it was a nice area, it was only after moving in that we discovered how beautiful and peaceful it really is.

I don’t think I was quite prepared for the extent of this beauty I see every day. Maybe I didn’t visualize it because I didn’t think we would find such a place within our budget. Maybe I thought that I didn’t deserve such a nice place.

I think the power of visualization is very strong so I am grateful that we didn’t end up with just an average place in an average rural location. This insight has recently lead me to correct my ambitions in other areas of my life. I have, for example, decided to keep an eye out for a new part time job. I thought that I would be able to see my current one out until I can support myself completely with my projects, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult to work there now that the contrast between how I feel in my free time and my work time is so great.

Instead of visualising my dream job I have caught myself visualising what I think is reasonable to find. I would prefer to work locally but I haven’t been able to imagine an authentic and ‘alternative’ place for me to work. But it occurred to me ‘Am I selling myself short?’ If I don’t aim for anything better than ‘it will do’ how can I expect to be content with my future new position?

One certainly has to be careful with what one wishes for. I remember hearing of someone who had wished for years to become a millionaire. Eventually he did – but not in the way he would have hoped. He had been involved in an accident which left him paralyzed and had been awarded $1 million in compensation. So not only must we not sell our dreams short, we must also be slightly more specific to ensure what we receive serves us.

I can confirm this. I have dreamed about a home in the country for so many years. In fact I did buy a house in the country about 5 years ago. It was certainly an amazing experience, and the location was wonderfully peaceful, but I hadn’t visualized the scenario that would best satisfy my needs. I bought the house solo – it was just me and my cats. But I have since discovered it’s so much more enriching to share the experience with someone – it makes a house feel more like a home.

I don’t regret buying that house for a moment. It served as a cocoon for me giving me the time and space to become more authentic. It was incredibly inexpensive to buy and also very cheap to run. The low outgoings gave me the confidence to quit a very uninspiring and almost damaging job and just take time out. Time to heal and time to grow. There were good times in that house, and there were almost freakish movie-type moments, such as when the house was attacked by a swarm of hornets, which I discovered after I saw them squeezing themselves through the wooden shutters in the middle of the night!.

But the house lacked something. It lacked Christoffer. We had only recently become a couple when I bought the house, so it wasn’t even considered that we should live there together. I didn’t know I needed to visualize a house AND someone to share it with! Dur! But now, second time around, my vision for my new home included My Love.

Interestingly, during our search for a home I discovered that we also need to really tune in to our partner when aiming for something together. Towards the end of our search for a home, I got quite specific about what I wanted. Suddenly we saw a place that had the precise details of what I have envisioned. It was almost creepy how tailor made this house was for my wishes. I say my as we were of course two and since Christoffer hadn’t really imagined the house to the detail like I had he didn’t click with it on the level I did. In the end we were out-bid, and bought the beautiful home we have now, but it just blew me away how the universe can deliver what we ask for. Down to the tiny details.

So with this in mind I urge you to not under-visualize your life. You deserve to be blown away with beauty and fulfillment! You deserve a life to love.

-Thanks to Christoffer for the beautiful photo of our neighbourhood!
You can see more of his photography here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/10211031@N03/

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